I hope mine doesn't look like that
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
