So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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