I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
