Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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