He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
