Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
God I need to hump something, right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
