she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
