According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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