Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my poor anus
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
