I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize