drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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