she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
