I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
