Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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