Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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