No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
