I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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