remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
