you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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