Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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