you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
