Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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