Please, let me fuck your mom
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
