I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
