I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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