pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
