I bet he comes in French.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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