Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
