She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
