you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
