So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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