Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
