oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize