you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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