my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
