He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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