I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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