Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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  (647): she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf http://tfl.nu/59j2
  Replies (10) Good night (787) Bad night (1044)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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  (904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl
  Replies (50) Good night (3264) Bad night (1143)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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  (913): This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed. http://tfl.nu/p27o
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (2604)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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  (970): Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet" http://tfl.nu/xuid
  Replies (13) Good night (4251) Bad night (1816)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.

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  (757): It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it. http://tfl.nu/6y9b
  Replies (36) Good night (5766) Bad night (1161)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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  (718): I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!" http://tfl.nu/wp1u
  Replies (29) Good night (8276) Bad night (1109)
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1200) Bad night (4260)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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  (612): i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore. http://tfl.nu/6de5
  Replies (14) Good night (3747) Bad night (808)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Is it working?

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  (205): I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless. (1-205): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/ozk1
  Replies (17) Good night (4114) Bad night (1053)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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  (917): Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor. http://tfl.nu/lzwd
  Replies (10) Good night (3308) Bad night (889)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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  (860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys
  Replies (14) Good night (8429) Bad night (994)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (987) Bad night (431)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.

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  (910): No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess. http://tfl.nu/luxa
  Replies (6) Good night (1722) Bad night (569)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.

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  (480): I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups. http://tfl.nu/acv0
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (430)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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  (817): you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe" (682): God please dont post that to facebook. http://tfl.nu/pwe8
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (444)

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