Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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  (413): I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/mtmx
  Replies (12) Good night (900) Bad night (2122)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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  (902): Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight. http://tfl.nu/0w7l
  Replies (25) Good night (4515) Bad night (637)
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  (415): View more from California

  i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.

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  (415): i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things. http://tfl.nu/f722
  Replies (1) Good night (2331) Bad night (939)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care

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  (905): ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care http://tfl.nu/hm11
  Replies (13) Good night (2973) Bad night (979)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.

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  (515): I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared. (515): I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong. http://tfl.nu/g00k
  Replies (4) Good night (2104) Bad night (710)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...

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  (570): Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays... http://tfl.nu/ogn4
  Replies (10) Good night (2287) Bad night (1113)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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  (484): the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished. http://tfl.nu/p2b9
  Replies (7) Good night (5483) Bad night (1061)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession

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  (501): All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession http://tfl.nu/yu57
  Replies (5) Good night (2417) Bad night (705)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.

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  (304): He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex. http://tfl.nu/68r0
  Replies (17) Good night (2595) Bad night (559)
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  (661): View more from California

  I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...

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  (661): I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel... http://tfl.nu/my6g
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (558)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?

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  (816): Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere? http://tfl.nu/bbd7
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (412)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

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  (989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (340)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

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  (202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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  (206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

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  (912): I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there. http://tfl.nu/8rbi
  Replies (12) Good night (1573) Bad night (381)

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