you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
