I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor