she woke up with a sticky ear
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
