Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
