I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
