i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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