Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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