Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
