I wannas sexs uuuuu
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
