1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize