Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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