I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
