I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
