dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize