Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize