just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
