We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
