he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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