you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
