I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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