Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
