Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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