The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
