if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
