i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
